I'm going to attempt to recite an old faux commercial from the Rush show from the 90s. This is 30 year old memories so it wont be perfect.
Farmer- Mr. Edison, I can see that thing clear over at my place.
Narrator- A hundred years ago, a horrible invention came to being and the century of light pollution had begun. Fortunately, Dem Bulbs has developed the new Dark Light. With 1/100th of a watt the new Dark Light can save you money and even add romance to your evening.
Male Customer- Honey, you've never looked better!
Dog- Woof!
Male Customer- Oh.
Narrator- The new Dark Light. Another great idea from Dem Bulbs.